Can’t resist posting this excerpt from an email I was sent a couple of weeks back. Hopefully it’ll extract a smile or two!
THE ENGLISH DICTIONARY FOR MEN AND WOMEN
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need to talk = You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead = You better not
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
You’re very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let’s have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay