When we get a lot of email and field a lot of phone calls, inevitably we’ll become hyper-aware of grammar boobs — both of the written and verbal variety. (Unsurprising, because as we all know, the English language is a bit of a disaster, and doesn’t score highly in the logic or user-friendly categories.)
Some of these boobs are wince-worthy. Others are unintentionally hilarious. And we might even be moved to compile a list so we can read through it and roll our eyes — maybe even snort with laughter — when we’ve had a shit-full day and need some light relief.
Added to this ever-growing list are a couple of gems provided by a colleague who used to be a teacher, plus a couple of wince-worthy phrases I spouted for years before I figured out I was saying the wrong thing and got called on it — über-embarrassing.
- Self of steam (self-esteem)
- Probly (Probably)
- Pacifically (Specifically)
- Apposed (Opposed)
- Supposebly (Supposedly)
- All of the sudden (All of a sudden)
- Somethink (Something)
- EFTPOST (EFTPOS)
- Me myself personally (Personally)
- Expresso (Espresso)
- Nothink (Nothing)
- Asseptable (Acceptable)
- Ecspecially (Especially)
- For all intensive purposes (For all intents and purposes)
- Should of (Should have)
- Guttered (Gutted)
- Aks (Ask)
- Ec-cetera (Etcetera)
- Eggsit (Exit)
- Taken for granite (Taken for granted)
- A mute point (A moot point)
- Escape goat (Scape-goat)
- Viola (Voilà)
- Doggy dog world (Dog eat dog world)
- Nip it in the butt (Nip it in the bud)
- Duck tape (Duct Tape)
- Cheap at half the price! (Cheap at twice the price)
My personal favorites? “Doggy dog world” and “Self of steam”… though “Escape goat” and “Guttered” and “Eggsit” and “Taken for granite” are close seconds.
“You can’t let them get the better of you. It’s a doggy dog world out there.”
“My self of steam just hit rock bottom.”
“I’m sick and tired of being an escape goat and taking the rap for all their balls-ups!”
“She broke up with him via text. Man, he was so guttered.”
“Take the left eggsit and hang a right. You can’t miss it.”
“Poor thing. He’s really taken you for granite, hasn’t he?”
Gotta love it!
Any of your own you’d like to add to the list?